She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
