you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I intend to get homeless drunk
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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