I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
