In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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