Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tell her she can't have a vagina
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
