i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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