You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
