after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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