last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize