He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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