I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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