Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
