We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
