For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
