No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
