jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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