I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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