i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
