Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
