I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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