Someone shit on the floor
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize