Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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