Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dicks are not precious.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
