absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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