put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
