How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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