he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
