Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
there is puke in my bra ... again
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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