you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
