He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
