cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
