New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
