New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
