You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
