I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There r osticjed everywhere
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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