I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
if only i could text you this smell
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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