some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
