Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
