My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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