we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
