It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
