It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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