Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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