Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
