This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
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