What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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