Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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