You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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