So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
