Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
