it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
