Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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