My room smells like vodka and shame
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sext me about skeletons
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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