if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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