Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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