You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
