Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
