Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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