Who did Billy Mays play for?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
