Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
