They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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