Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
