i jhust puked up my retainher.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
