32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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