Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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