If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
