Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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