i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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