so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
