Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
