Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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